I’ve made it! Actually I made it a couple of days ago. And I made it relatively pain free. There was an occasion on the plane when some whore sitting behind me kicked my seat forward while I was sleeping and I woke up not at all where I fell asleep. I wasn’t happy, but I was too damn tired to care.
It’s goddamn hot here though. MELTING hot! We’ve spent the last two days disney-ing it up. Somehow Alynda managed to get me on all the rides. Like.. the drop you out of the air ones and everything. Admittedly she didn’t tell me it was going to drop me that far though….. scared the crap out of me. But I did it. So… whee! I can see the tower from where I’m sitting… I don’t believe I did it. And after all that…. the freaking ferris wheel was the thing that scared me most. It had moving gondola thingers though! They like.. dropped down and swung out over water so that at some point you were looking right down at the water 30 metres below you. FUUUCK. The… maybe 8 year old kid in the same gondola was braver than I was! She told me when it was going to get worse…. made me cringe. I kept my eyes closed the whooole time. HEEH.
So yeah. We’re doing pretty good. Having fun and whatnot. The tour starts on Saturday and then we head to Vegas! WOOOH. Where is is apparently twice as hot as this. I’m on a mission to collect a few postcards from every state were in. WOAH .. dream big.
But yeah. I’m still missing people like crazy, especially because I can’t get my damn US phone to work properly, so I’m currently paying out the ass for roaming fees. BAH. SO that’s a little frustrating… but we know how crap I am with technology…. so .. really it probably should’ve been expected.
So. There you go. I’ll hopefully have another chance to blog pretty soon into the tour, so, until then, kids!
I can’t think of anything more clever to call this post.
HEY GUESS WHAT?!?!
I’m going overseas today. SERIOUSLY. I fly to LA this afternoon. WOAH.
It really feels like only yesterday this trip was eight months, or thirty-odd weeks away, and now suddenly it’s here and it’s happening, and there’s nothing I can do except pack and get on a plane.
It’s weird really. I’m oddly calm about this. I was freaking out up until a few hours ago.. like.. when I got home from work yesterday, and ever since then I’ve been strangely okay about it all. Now I’m just like “14 hours on a plane… thousands of kilometers from home.. MEH.”… it’s quite strange really, considering I’m usually the worlds worst traveler, and freak out about every possible thing.
I’ve also been awake since 9pm last night, and it’s now almost 7am…. and that was after a day of work yesterday, and my usual 5:30am wake up in order to actually GET to work. So, I’m feeling pretty good right about now… Except that I have to start getting ready in a few minutes… which will possibly be when nerves kick in… uhoooh.
SO YEAH.
Next time you guys hear from me, I’ll be in The Land Of The Free… apparently they’re brave, too. I hope to be sweltering in hot-ass temperatures… I might finally defrost after being awake all bloody night without a damn heater. Logic escaped me on a number of occasions overnight… It only occurred to me when my dad woke up an hour ago that I could drink coffee….. *facepalm*
YEAH SO.
Take care everyone, and I’ll pretend you’re all wishing me a safe trip and whatnot. Because even if you do, by the time I know about it… I’ll be in the US….
oooh good health.. I remember you well. We had some good times together.
So. To top of a truly marrrrrrvellous week technology and mood wise, I landed myself a pretty awesome stomach bug yesterday. Seriously. I’ve never been so hot. I’m sharing the details with you.
I was rather rudely awakened at 3am, feeling.. a little weird, and absurdly hot… so I kicked some blankets off and attempted to go back to sleep. I failed. But I remember lying there thinking “well.. this doesn’t feel right”.
Then the inevitable happened and I plodded my way across the hallway to the bathroom. Because at 4am, no one is moving fast. To be honest, I didn’t really think anything much of it. Since I finished the e-coli antibiotics, frequent bathroom-ing would occasionally happen. I just figured it was the antibiotics cleaning out my system and whatnot. But, when I looked in the mirror after washing my hands… I was GREY. And I’m not exaggerating. I could’ve played one of the corpses on NCIS that have the lights on all their privates so you don’t see them, and done it without make-up. I actually scared myself.
But I climbed back into bed, assuming the worst was over and that I’d better at least try and get some sleep before work. Fail. The worst was actually NOT over. Now… for those of you who don’t know… I rarely throw up. I’ve managed to get through the last fourteen years without a single hurl. It was about the point on Saturday morning when I started gagging that I wondered if maybe I actually was sick…. Undeniable logic.
But, for some reason, I went to work… and OH MY HOLY JESUS I have never been so glad to have a volunteer working with me than I was on Saturday. I made her do everything. Except the washing up, because I figured out that I could do that if I pulled the chair over and sat in front of the sink. But the majority of the day was spent crossing paths with -Ster while she continually told me I looked like crap, and when I told her I looked better than I did when I was grey, she asked me ‘is it possible to look worse?’. I’d have been slightly offended if I didn’t think she was possibly concerned.
Seriously though… How awesome is my timing? I’d joked that I needed to lose weight before I went to America, because I’m expecting that I’m going to gain it while I’m over there.. but this actually isn’t funny. In the last 48 hours, all I’ve managed to eat is 5 rice crackers, half a bread roll, a sandwich and three bites of a pop tart. IN FOURTY EIGHT HOURS. Thats like… half a meal to me on a good day. Yesterday WATER was turning my stomach… I’ve managed ice tea today, but I think I’ve hit my limit with it and it’s not sitting so great. I really want a croissant though…
ANYWAY.
I still went to Mraz last night and I’m still getting on a plane on Tuesday.
Mraz = Awesome. He had a whole band with him this time, which was FANTASTIC. And, thank god, we were in seats. Near the damn rafters, but at least we were seated. I’d never seen him with a full band like that before. He even had horns. I took photos. But I don’t actually have a computer to load them onto at the moment… BAH. (I’m waiting for a replacement… I’m secretly hoping by some miracle I’ll get one tomorrow). I took all my photos in sepia though, because the venue was pretty old school, and it felt like the occasion called for it. They turned out pretty awesome.
He didn’t do my favourites though. There was no ‘Sleeping to Dream’… or ‘On Love In Sadness’, or ‘Plane’… I had thought of sneakily calling hotboy while one of those songs were playing, then he didn’t do any of them. BAH. He did do a freaking awesome version of Dynamo of Volition, though. Mighty impressed.
I’ll talk about AmericaLand tomorrow, and tonight I’ll leave you with this… The last song of last night.
Apparently this is my 100th blog entry. FASCINATING!
I’m still without a computer of my own so here is updates:
1. Laptop has officially shit itself. IT guy says he cannot fix it. It is…. Un-fixable. Asploded. Gone. Whisked away to computer heaven. I’ve been told the rental company will have no choice but to replace it. However, I’ve also been told this probably won’t happen before I go overseas. Information which made me cartwheel. Bastard. Couldn’t have waited a few days to do this so that I could talk to people and see people before I leave. Furk.
2. I leave in three days. And by that, I mean… It’s Friday evening now, and I leave on Tuesday afternoon. Tomorrow and Monday will be spent working, and tomorrow night, I’m off to see Jason Mraz again. On Sunday, I will be doing the family thing, and seeing my sister and her kids before I abandon them for several weeks.
3. I had another “I don’t want to go” days today. I don’t know why I do this… logic suggests that All Will Be Well, and I won’t have anything to worry about. I’ll have fun, I’ll still get to talk to the people I want to talk to, and in one case, may even have regular phone calls where there haven’t been regular phone calls, because the USA is CHEAP and I can probably afford it over there where I can’t here so much… BAH. I had to get a bigger suitcase last night. I resent it because it cost me money. But most of what I’m taking is now packed. That means it’s real, and I can’t avoid thinking about it any longer.
4. I’m starting to wonder what kind of effect work is having on me, lately. Yesterday morning, I had to go looking for the keys to my designated area, and when I went to find the girl in T2 to ask about the keys, there was a rather gruesome sight waiting for me. Mostly it involved death and a shitload of blood. Like… I think there was more out of the body than I think there was inside it, where blood is supposed to be. Did such a thing phase me? Did it turn my stomach considering that it was before 9am? Nope. I was fine with it. Very Meh. And today, I had to help dispose of a few bodies… I actually JOKED with -Ster while I was doing it. What the hell?! I think my heart may be turning into stone… I get that it’s hard and stuff… but… is it a bad thing that I just don’t think about it anymore?
5. I’m fucking PISSED about my computer.
6. And I already miss HotBoy and I haven’t even left yet. Gosh darn I’m a girl… when did that happen?
Remember I said earlier that my laptop was working?
Guess what, kids….
It worked for about five hours, went into hibernation mode while I was having panic attacks at the fact that I’ve just realised my suitcase isn’t big enough for everything I need to take with me overseas, and now it’s not doing a damn thing. (I also might’ve gone down the road to put petrol in my car… and apparently even though it’s cheaper at the moment, the same amount of dollars is only filling my tank up HALF THE DAMN WAY…. I could seriously kill someone right about now)
It didn’t recover from hibernation when I wizzed my finger across the touchpad like it normally does, and instead restarted. Then it got stuck on the start up screen with the windows logo and the little blue bar thinger that is supposed to indicate that it’s loading. And it’s not moving past that.
FAN.FUCKING.TASTIC.
Before I was marginally annoyed at it. Sure, it broke and I lost everything I had stored on it, but ITGuy indicated that he could fix it, and that all would be A-OKAY. I trusted that he would do this, and that my computer would be right when I was called yesterday and told it was ok to be picked up and that it was “running well”. BUT NO. The bastard of a thing has SHIT itself again, and instead of getting INTO windows and THEN locking up, it’s not even OPENING windows.
WHAT.THE.FUCK.
I’ve moved past marginally annoyed and into I-Just-Might-Stab-Someone. ITGuy is lucky I’ll be at work tomorrow when my mother will take it back to him, dump it on his desk and tell him that either HE fucked up and didn’t do the job we had to pay him to do, or that the computer is fucked and we would like a replacement now, thanks, as well as our money back for your half arsed job that only made the problem worse. Kick ass, ITGuy, KICKFUCKINGASS.
This is incredibly frustrating to me. With me now having zero friends actually living within a few hours of me, the innernet is my KEY to being able to contact these people! It keeps me sane, and while I have the limited use of mum’s cigarette infested computer (thankgodfordettol), I don’t like using it. I can’t do fun stuff like have sharing folders, or sit awkwardly in front of a webcam on her computer. Because she won’t let me. And because I don’t want to have that on a shared computer.
1. Lappy is fixed. Well… by that I mean, it’s working. ITGuy had to rebuild/reformat/reinstall. I don’t know which one of those is right, but he had to completely wipe everything that was on it, and load it all back on again. And by doing that, he’s left me with nothing. Literally nothing. It’s practically an empty shell that is currently running the internet, msn and a webcam. Which, when I think about it, is really all I use Lappy for anyway. MEH. It works. It seems to be running faster. I have not yet recieved any error messages. I cannot complain. I did still lose a whole bunch of photos though.
2. Breaking Dawn, the fourth book in the Twilight series, is absolute shit. It has surprised me when I have stumbled upon the occasional fangirl screaming that it’s wonderful. Really. It’s not. It’s done nothing but make me laugh and I’m only like… 200 pages into it. There’s only been like… five pages that I’ve actually enjoyed reading, because the girl in me went ‘NAWW’ at it. The rest is just annoying. FLARGH.
3. Alyndabear has now left for the States. This means it isn’t long until I leave for the States. This means I am currently in some weird kind of meltdown. It’s manageable though. I know how I’m going to deal with it. But, it doesn’t stop me missing HotBoy already, and I haven’t even left yet. I’m going from pure excitement and just wanting to go, to kind of wishing it was still eight months away. I started off getting everything organised for it, and then I lose motivation and can’t be arsed. It probably comes from the fact that I’m getting excited, and then half a second later I’m less than excited, and then another second after that, I’m excited again! Rollercoaster indeed! As long as I can find a cheap as pre-paid phone so that I can talk to people I care about while I’m over there, I’ll be okay. But I’m still looking at my suitcase, packed on top of a wardrobe, thinking I should get it down and then being distracted by things like pop-tarts and gummi bears.
4. I only have one day off until I leave. Shit. SHIIIT. This means if I need to do anything that requires being done in business hours, I just might be fucked, seeing as the day off I have is Sunday, and I’ll be spending that with family, playing superaunt. I’m not going to have time on Tuesday morning, because I’ll need to be at the airport at about 10am… which means leaving home between 9 and 9:30. It has suddenly occured to me that I might be running out of moisturiser in a few weeks time… and my shipment has not yet arrived. SHIIIT.
5. I am going to have to start packing. SIGH. That means I’ll really be leaving. But.. that also means ohmyholyjesus I get to do cool stuff like wobble my way through memphis, where I believe it will be warm. But… man.. I’ll miss people and stuff. *flails*
Seriously. It’s not doing anything. Not even the confusing ways I am being told by MickTheComputerGuy who kindly offered his help to me thisevening, are working. And the verdict suggests ’tis fucked’.
*FLAILS*
Fuck. Fuck. FUCKITTY FUCK.
*sob*
Really Lappy. It’s not funny this time. You damn near got thrown, and if that’s what I have to do in order to get MegaChainRetailStore you are on rent from to give me a new one that hasn’t crapped itself, I just might do it. OH NO, Lappy, Don’t think I hold any loyalty to you. I’d leave you on the roof of my car and drive away at high speeds if I didn’t think it might either dent my car or result in my requiring new tyres a lot sooner than I should from doing burnouts to try and fling you as far as possible.
Oh no, Lappy. You’ve been an ass since the beginning. For a long time, I refused to even use you. Then my mother went through all the files I had on the shared computer and I realised I’d have to get the internet on it, and I was left with no choice but to use you. You have spent the last seven months refusing to speak to my modem, which apparently works perfectly or so the helpdesk tell me. You no longer play the Sims. This is CATASTROPHIC to me. I had a nice little world created for myself and you and your fucked up ways stopped me accessing it. And lately, msn hasn’t been running without error messages that either shut you down completely or require me to restart. This is what you did thisevening before you decided computer heaven would be a much better place than the pillow you reside upon. High standards, Lappy. I don’t think you deserve that pillow. Yes Lappy, I’d pour a can of Pepsi on you in a heartbeat. I’d let Wally pee on you if I had to. I could also slide you under him while he’s bouncing excitedly because 30oddkgs of labrador is going to do a little damage. But I’m a relatively good doggiemomma and I won’t do this out of fear it would hurt him.
I also considered dropping you from a great height, or giving you to my crackhead neighbour to beat up the next time he feels the need to take a swipe at something. The obvious problems with these two options is that i would have to go up high to drop it, and I’m scared of heights, and my crackhead neighbour really is a crackhead and I would be scared he would beat the shit out of me the way he beat the shit out of his girlfriend yesterday morning while I was out drinking gross drinks with juliekins. But I still considered it. I could get Pats to drive over you with the forklift. He’d probably enjoy it. Don’t doubt me, lappy. I’d do it. You’d go out in Style.
At this point. I have one last option and it requires sucking up to computer guys at harvey norman, in the hopes that they will give me a shiney new computer that.. you know.. actually works. Because I’m a tight arse. And I’m about to go overseas for five weeks. I don’t really want to be arsed with fixing a computer, or spending money aquiring a new computer. And lets not even think of the photos I had stored on that thing. I may just have to miss Fishers Ghost this year… THANK YOU VERY MUCH. stupidlaptop.
Lesson:
When Juliekins sticks her hand out, indicating that she would like the vodka bottle, do not let her have it. It will result in your being tipsy after a mere one glass.
This may or may not result in dozing through several movies before finally admitting defeat around 2:30am. Apparently I’m not as young as I used to be and pulling an all nighter is Incredibly Hard.
Chances are you may also dance like your arms don’t bend, and find the word ‘BALLS’ to be Absolutely Hilarious.
Dear Facebook,
This has been bothering me for quite some time.
I understand that it’s all very exciting when someone changes their relationship status to ‘in a relationship’. Really, I get it. I was excited to do it. However… I noticed soon after that every single ad that appeared on my many Facebook page variations… was about weddings. Or photographers. Or how easy and convenient it is for mothers to work from home. What happened to your ads advertising websites like RSVP? Those only appeared when I was still listed as ’single’… Or seek.com.au? Those used to appear too. WHY do you change your ads that way? Why do they appear to be dependant on what your relationship status is? It annoys me a little, Facebook, it really does.
Regards,
KD.
Dear Kidneys,
For the love of all that is good in the world… fucking get better. Seriously. Otherwise I will sell you on ebay.. or possibly trade you for something specacular… like that guy who swapped a paperclip for a house. Kidneys have got to be worth something these days. Especially when there is an extra bit. Although I’m actually starting to think the extra bit is causing the pain…. wouldn’t surprise me. But Fuck. It still hurts. It shouldn’t still hurt. I do not have any more antibiotics left and I am far too lazy to go back to the doctor, but the bathroom and I should not be this close, still. My relationship with the toilet has run it’s course. There’s nothing there for either of us anymore. It’s time we moved on, went our seperate ways.
You’ve let me down, Kidneys.
Your Chasis,
KD. *sigh*
Dear S & E,
I really enjoyed working in the cattery with you two crazy kids today. I hope to be rostered in there again tomorrow with one or both of you. Fun times, girls, fun times. I’m glad I can joke with you guys.
Scrubby Scrub Scrub,
KD.
Dear SupervisorMrK,
Thanks for a good appraisal. I’m starting to wonder if maybe you don’t all hate me, and that perhaps I’m not actually shit at my job. Which is good… because I like it, and I’m glad you’ve elected to keep me around even though I sometimes say ‘fuck’. However, I would appreciate it if I could get a pair of those spiffy new pants…. because they’re longer and I believe they aren’t as high waisted as the ones I’m currently wearing, which are actually about as uncomfortable as they look. I reckon I could rock those new pants. I’d also appreciate it if you could keep me in with the cats for the remainder of the week because my frigging kidneys still hurt like a bitch.
Veepstakes,
KD.
Two Things That Are Currently Exciting Me…
And there’s a segway.
1. The Sisterhood Of The Travelling Pants 2 premiered overnight. I’m not sure where it was (NYC apparently), but wouldn’t it have been awesome if it’d been in LA when that whole earthquake thing was happening? And all the girls would’ve flailed and screamed and I’m sure it would’ve been hilarious.
But this excites me because I absolutely adore the first movie. And there’s fun to be had when looking at their premier outfits. I’d post it as a photo, but wordpress pulled a swiftie and took the easy photo button off it’s thinger and my computer is an ass and won’t let me do it the other way. But anyway.
Firstly I love that they’re all looking in different directions. Secondly, I cannot say a bad word about Blake Lively. She’s pretty, and while her head in the movie poster is frustrating for some reason, I like her dress.
Alexis kind of looks a bit ‘MEH’ about the whole thing. Like she’s saying to herself ’smile pretty for the camera’…. then will later look back at photos and think ’shit. that pink lipstick was not my wisest decision. i miss milo. why is he with that stupid whale loving skank hayden!?’ and all that jazz. Even though her face looks like a bit of a mess, I still like to believe Milo is looking at her going ‘Damn. WTF am I doing with this whale loving skank, hayden?’ yeah.
America Ferrera… Lets not talk about her. Besides how much of a dumbass she looks like. Almost doll-like… and I mean the fun kind of doll guys sometimes like. Apparently she looks pretty fugly in the movie though… so maybe I can go back to my appreciation of her because she has no shame in making herself look like crap on film. I cannot forgive her for her outfit though.
NOR can I forgive AMBER TAMBLYN for the atrocity of a pantsuit she is wearing. It makes her ass look HUGE. And… I’m not a big fashionista or anything… but isn’t the point of an outfit on a girl specifically to try and make your ass look smaller? WHY then, Amber, would you wear a high waisted pantsuit with weird shoulder thingers?!?! WHY?! I also know you don’t have blue shiny fabulous hair in the second movie… for which i will never forgive you. Tibby just won’t be the same!
The segway is that this means this movie will be released soon. In America. Where I will soon be. I fully intend on making Miss Alyndabear see it with me. So we can go ‘NAWWW’ at it becuase you know… they’re good friends… and they’re apart and stuff.
2. Speaking of one such AlyndaBear….
it is currently 12:13am in Australia… and I should be in bed… but I am HERE. Because it is her birthday. And she’s my bestie. And I do miss her. Seriously… Hugh Grant and Wine just haven’t been the same since. I cannot watch the second Bridget Jones without thinking back to that time we were pissed off our faces and only wanted to watch the part where she’s on acid. So we skipped the rest of it. Then I think we fell asleep… I can’t be sure. I don’t really remember much besides the spinning. I think I told her I loved her too. Except I actually meant it the way drunk people don’t often do. Because she’s awesome.
AND I THINK YOU SHOULD ALL JOIN ME IN WISHING HER A VERY HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY. send her some love. www.alyndabear.com
*throws some streamers at Alynda*
Happy Birthday, Pup! I hope it’s as fabulous a birthday as you deserve it to be. And that’s pretty fabulous. You’re awesome, dear. Don’t ever doubt it.
seeyousooooon!!!!
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